Thursday, April 01, 2010

Hushed hello

It has been a while since my last post - yes i'm still perceptive about the obvious!! I kinda fell out with blogging for a while (only two 2 years), then got excited about facebook; and then got disgusted by the compulsion to broadcast everything i did. When i felt i was turning into a twit, i figured i'd return to blogging. But i was thwarted by technology: apparently google hasn't noticed that a good number of us access the internet via mobile fone. So after all this time, i'm back with fresh angles; trying to string together coherent thoughts instead of churning out disjointed streams of consciousness as i have been doing on facebook!! I wouldn't be here if i didn't have fresh perspective so let me know if i'm rehashing the same thoughts or have progress! stay tuned

Thursday, June 28, 2007

This shit is bananas

If he'd lost the BET award to anyone other than Neyo, i'd have been first to cry racism. But he's still my favourite. Cocaine, cocaine

What i really wanted

How to start this almost defeats me. I could go the cheesy zig-zagah-zig route, but some sky news already has that covered. I've thought of trying the spice mama route but i may as well point out that the sky is blue while i'm at it. So i'm going to do it my way - how original!
My one and very desperate wish for 1999 has finally come true: The Spice girls are reuniting! Thsi would have meant the world to me back then, but now, after i'm past starving myself to achieve that posh look, it's nothing more than what posh said it is: a celebration of the past. I think it's redundant to celebrate the past, isn't being here enough tribute!! How about taking on the here and now. Cant handle it can you spice girls. Shit, am i pissed?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The War jargon

If you thought the "one man's suicide bomber is another's freedom fighter" issue was difficult, i did, things just got alittle more complicated with some new jargon: insurgent or guerilla. What's the difference anyway? Why is she writing about this, you ask! Because, my little earthlings, i wanted to post something about the peace effort in afghanistan when i realised i didn't know the proper name for the guys fighting the coalition troops. They are not called guerillas, i was certain of that. But what then?! It came to me, evnetually, but the point had been made!

Ps: Does "one man's suicide bomber is another's freedom fighter" argument apply in Iraq and Afghanistan or is it valid only with respect to the middleast?

The Fray

If you're thinking of anything other than the band, then even i can't help you. Anyway, i recently read a review of The Fray that described the band as coldplay lite. An interesting comparison because Coldplay's been described as Radiohead light, which would make The Fray RH lite lite.

That aside, i don't think comparisons with Coldplay are justified, the Fray is more like Snow - open your eyes,close your eyes, can't make my mind up- Patrol, a bad version at that. That said, "How to save a life" is a decent song. And there are a feeeeeww more onthe album but for the most part the sound is monotonous almost to the point of being irritating.(Sorry guys, i couldn't do better than you but surely you can do better than that album.)

The same can't be said of Maroon 5's "It won't be soon before long". The new album is if nothing else an evolution. 'Makes me wonder' is wonderfully catchy, i doubt if anyone else could have so delighfully mixed soul and pop/rock. Even my niece can't stop with the 'amymore amymore...'

Robin Thicke's 'Evoltion of Robin Thicke' is a refreshing R&B album, almost an oxymoron. Enuff said!

"We are all in the same family"

We are family, really we are. We are the same. Quit saying i am different, no i am the same as you. We grow from the same stem. Don't we? Yes we do.....

No, that's not the kind of conversation i've had with my sisters, not even in a parallel universe. What it is, is something bigger: the new foreign policy mantra. "(insert country of choice-turkey, Israel, Russia, Libya....-take your pick) is a democratic country that shares common world and common European values."

Why entire states allow themselves to be maniulated into europeanising themselves is quite beyond me. Why not try the Donald approach, "You're the old world, and we are the new. Now go fuck yourselves!" And if that doesn't work they could always try the chinese india route-reproduce until you have a sixth of the world's population, then flex some muscle - "We're Indians, you can't snub us, who will manage your call centres if you do", "We're china, snub us and you'll be no diffeent from the primitive Africans who have no clothes to wear." Uganda for one is trying that approach, its population is expected to double in the next 20 years. Take that bitches! Excuse me while i go do something for my country-reproduce!

An officer and a gentleman

An officer of the righteous people's army of mother -or is it father- Russia was last week sentenced to a three year prison term by the equally righteous courts of the people of the said mother land.
The charge against that officer of the noble institution: the bartering of a conscript in exchange for handsome 30 pieces of silver-
$2,500 if you are so inclined. A minor charge which shoud have earned him nothing more than a slap on the wrist but for the unfortunate accident, subsequent to the exchange, which left the said conscript less a leg and suffering brain damage. Not the officer's fault, surely. The resulting sentence shades light on the flaws thta have crept into the righteous courts of the people. A competent court should not have allowed itself to be influenced by the conscript's injuries, however pathetic. 3 years for bartering! What has the world come to?!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The last of the Beckham posts

Beckham puts England back on track

England's celebrity value in world football was amply demonstrated here in Tallinn on Wednesday night. The front page of Postimees, the biggest quality newspaper in Estonia was given over to pictures of the visiting England squad. 'England arrive', was the headline, as if they might have got lost on their way to the airport. The stunning 2-1 victory for Estonia in the supporters game staged on the afternoon of the match was also given prominent coverage.

David Beckham and Joel Lindpere
David Beckham is challenged by Joel Lindpere

An increase in security and the thorough frisking given to journalists on their way into the ground caused a few raised eyebrows as well - that hadn't happened in Tallinn before. Given that the game against Russia in March preceded an international incident between the two countries and an organised attack on Estonia considered by some experts to be the first instance of large scale cyberwarfare against a NATO country, it gives some idea of the importance of David Beckham's return and the arrival of England's footballers in Estonia. There were other things on the minds of Estonia's footballing public though, it wasn't simply a case of turning out to see England. The Estonian Football Association presents the 'silverball' trophy to the player judged to have scored the best goal for Estonia in the calendar year, and this year there have been slim pickings for the judges. No pickings at all, in fact, the Estonian national team being goalless in 2007. There are still two games against Andorra to come - so there should be at least one Estonian goal this year  but Estonian football fans are a little worried that their goal of the year might be a goalmouth scramble, or maybe a penalty. Last year Tarmo Neemelo won it with a header from three yards out. Such is life for the minnows of UEFA. England boss Steve Mclaren had been anxious to ensure Peter Crouch would play at the Le Coq Arena, as it was felt he was more suited to this type of opponent. His competitive goals for England have come against teams of a similar stature - Trinidad and Tobago, Andorra and Macedonia. Estonia manager Jelle Goes, who announced after the match that he would leave Estonia after his contract ends in November, was sanguine in defeat after the gangly striker scored the second goal. 'How can you defend an Eiffel Tower like Crouch?' he asked. 'You can climb on his neck but then it's a penalty.' This is not to diminish England's victory, they scored more goals in Tallinn than the other contenders in the Group E, but the fact is that this was a routine victory and everyone in the England camp knew it. It's a strange trait of football managers that the more pressure they are under, the smilier they get. Steve Mclaren was grinning widely before the game as he watched the players warm up, occasionally smoothing his hair for the cameras and waving to (possibly imaginary) friends in the crowd. After the game he was curt and dismissive, saying questions about Beckham's future inclusion were 'not for tonight'. Which is all very well, but what message does it send to the rest of the squad? That the manager does not trust them to deal with tiny Baltic countries, but beating Russia home and away might be different? The recall of Beckham, looked at in purely tactical terms, was a success. But it poses some awkward questions about the manager's judgment and about his confidence in his Europe-based players, and indeed his confidence in Beckham given his refusal to commit to including him in future squads. 'Lets just enjoy the win,' he simply said
How can you defend an Eiffel Tower like Crouch? 'You can climb on his neck but then it's a penalty.

Estonia coach, Jelle Goes
So Steve Mclaren is happy with three points and three goals from what he said was 'always going to be a tough game.' He was rather less forthcoming about what he can do to mitigate the effects of England's poor performances so far. His answers about Beckham's continued inclusion were baffling, given that it was such a humiliating U-turn for him. Unless he believes Estonia to be such a dangerous team that they require special measures, it looks rather like he may have been using Beckham to secure his own position and avoid any embarrassing slip-ups, before reverting to what he privately believes is the best squad selection for England. Michael Owen has no such worries. He is safe in the knowledge that he will be picked no matter what, as the new holder of the record for competitive England goals. He looked slightly off the pace against Estonia, struggling to hold the ball up and make the right pass. After making 13 appearances for Newcastle United in two years, Owen might be on his way to a new club and he obviously intends to use England games to increase his visibility. 'I idolised Gary Lineker as a kid and to break that record is fantastic,' he said after entering the record books. Newcastle will be pleased at increasing the resale value of their injury prone striker. Freddy Shepherd was caught on camera recently offering to 'fucking carry him back' to Liverpool, possibly believing the Chester-born striker to be incapable of getting there independently. Goes was asked about likely qualifiers from the group. His answer twisted and turned and tried to be polite, but in the end it boiled down to the fact that it's probably between England, Croatia and Russia. He was careful to point out that not everyone is under as much pressure as the England manager. His compatriot Guus Hiddink is building a young Russian team and therefore 'qualifying for the Euros isn't a priority, as I understand it.' Of course, England have no such luxury and McClaren knows he has to beat Russia, Israel and Croatia to stand a chance. Mclaren would do well to look at what has preceded him. Beckham often saves England in qualifying and then the nation sweats on the fitness of him and Owen. To all intents and purposes Beckham is back and will outlast Mclaren. It would take a very brave or a very foolhardy manager to drop him after the last two games. We'll see if Mclaren fits either of those descriptions.

Apologie to the non Beckham fans. I'm posting this, as with everything else, purely for myself so that when i forget shit, i can return here and remember.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

There's justice in the world

McClaren can't admit the worth of Beckham

We could call him Steve McClaren's dirty little secret.

You know the type. One of those embarrassing personal problems that nag away at you until you are eventually forced to give in and face up to your demon. The only problem for England's beleaguered manager is that his blemish is a touch more obvious than most.

His name is David Beckham, the most famous footballer in the world and the man McClaren has been forced to turn to in a bid to rescue himself what all observers believe will be a humiliating sacking should England fail to beat lowly Estonia in Wednesday's Euro 2008 qualifier.

While his decision to drop Beckham in the first place was brave and the move to recall the in-form Real Madrid midfielder is equally bold, McClaren is clearly embarrassed by the fact that his first major decision as England coach has proved to be a mistake. Given the chance to prove his own manager wrong in a 77-minute international comeback against Brazil last Friday, Beckham snatched his chance in typical fashion and proved he should never have been away from this ultimate stage in the first place. McClaren could take some credit for this unlikely story, yet you just need to spend five minutes in the company of the ex-Middlesbrough manager to appreciate just how much this whole problem has consumed him. In fact, his determination to replace Beckham's name with the word as 'he' while offered grudging appreciation for his performance in the 1-1 draw against the five-time world champions was sad to behold.
'He didn't want his return to be the main focus, I didn't wanted it either and I think it has been key to our preparations,' said McClaren, as he managed to spill a few words about his 'problem'. 'He showed in training exactly why he should be a part of the England squad and it doesn't surprise me. I have seen him play week in week out from Real Madrid and he has been giving that kind of performance time and again. 'He gave us great balance on the right side of our midfield against Brazil. He is fitter and stronger than I've seen him for a long time and when you hear Real Madrid boss Fabio Capello saying he is in the best shape of his career, you have to listen.' Critics of this sporting icon are rarely far away and there will be many who view his England return is little more than a boost to the 'Brand Beckham Inc' publicity machine he is purported to front. However, such claims have been rubbished as he has proved himself to be a sportsman with real character in the last few months. When the managers of both Real Madrid and England decided they could do without a figure who has long divided public opinion, it would have been easy for Becks to take the easy route and prepare for a wealthy semi-retirement with Los Angels Galaxy this summer. Instead, he has defied those who doubted him, forced his way back into the plans of Capello and McClaren and even if his international return is brief, he must feel it was worth it for the reception he received from his Wembley public on Friday. Beckham's name was cheered louder than any other before kick-off and his every touch sparked a rash of flashlights to light up the North London skyline. His delivery from set-plays was as immaculate as ever and when McClaren replaced him late on, the standing ovation he received may have been heard in Madrid. 'He is putting in extra work on the training ground at Real Madrid and it's paying dividends,' continued McClaren, looking increasingly agitated as the Beckham questions continued to flow. 'He takes adversity on the chin, bounces back and his performances merited coming into the team.
'Many have questioned my decision to bring him back and there has been a great debate about it all week, but his performances have merited a place in the squad since the New Year. We got a good performance out of him against Brazil.' McClaren's ability to create a PR disaster was exposed again last week as his determination to keep Beckham's return low key led to the cancellation of planned media events last Thursday. His pathetic attempts to keep his recalled midfielder under wraps were never going to work and if he can't handle the reality of working with the game's biggest stars, he really should get out of the kitchen he is frying in. This coach is clearly struggling to handle the superstar in his midst, yet those of us at Wembley on Friday appreciated the positive impact the returning hero has on the sell-out crowd. For the first time in years, the feelgood factor was back for England. Beckham may be a one-trick pony, but his party piece of delivering decisive balls into dangerous areas has brought Real Madrid to the brink of the Spanish title and he did the same for his country as a trademark cross set up skipper John Terry for what should have been a famous winning goal for England. Yet with McClaren persistently dismissing questions about his future in the England squad when he makes his move to LA Galaxy next season, it seems Beckham's return to the international scene will be brief. He will help dig McClaren out of a hole in Tallinn on Wednesday before being discarded again and if that proves to be the case, the folly of the manager's twisted decision making will have been exposed. You just had to listen to the tone of McClaren's voice as he reluctantly praised Beckham and then went on to enthusiastically promote the performances of favourite sons Frank, Stevie and Michael. In the eyes of the fans, Beckham was the star of the Wembley show and not the trio of Lampard, Gerrard and Owen, yet McClaren did his best to argue his point.

Ignoring the fact that Lampard was jeered by sections of the crowd as he left the Wembley pitch, the coach portrayed a different view and claimed the Chelsea midfielder's midfield partnership with Liverpool skipper Gerrard was flourishing. 'I can't explain why Frank got the reception he did,' he stated. 'I felt he answered a lot of questions as he did his job with great discipline against a top side.

'People doubt whether Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard can play together, but they proved they could on Friday night. They've only lost one game playing together in the midfield and the discipline and ability they showed gave us the platform to attack Brazil.' McClaren's body language in front of the media is now akin to that of a rabbit caught in glaring scary headlights. He may have started out with the intention of developing solid relationships with the reporters who have buried many an England manager down the years, but this ambition lies in terminal tatters. Maybe he should use the next few days to get a few tips of media relations from the man hailed as the king of spin himself. David Beckham is a useful guy to have around.

Reprinted from Soccernet

Oaky, i admit; i love Beckham - he's not Zidane(who is), he's famous, he's pretty blah blah blah, what's new! He's made so much of a right foot, defenders mut be glad that's all he's got, that and spades of determination. oh, and the best of spice world - every girl, every girl, spice up your world! People of the world, spice uo your world......

Friday, May 11, 2007

C’est Lui

Woe-yi woe-yi, something’s amiss in the universe! No, it’s not the old suspects: ozone depletion, global warming etc. it’s something else, cataclysmic – an American neo-con, a Bushist, in the Elysee palace, in the heart of Old Europe. Nobel Napoleon!

How did this come about? No, silly, it’s not how it came about that a bushist condescended to take up the leadership of a bit stinky old Europe but how it is that the resentful people of that bit of old Europe came to elect one of those that they hate as only the lowly are capable of loathing their betters? The media sensation surrounding the “situation” in France has been so lost in the bubble of denial requisite for surviving such shock that it’s left to me, your dependable, eh, whatever to provide some analysis. Having devoted 2 entire seconds to this issue, I believe I’ve arrived at the explanation.

(drum roll)

Mass hypnosis! Yep, so simple an explanation that one could almost overlook it. That’s the genius of it, I suppose. The particulars of its implementation I must, for reasons of global security, withhold. But there was a fatal flaw in the method, it’s effects were limited to the moral, decent, and upstanding lot. It was assumed that these were in the minority so the problem was ignored. But as you may well know, Sarko won a landslide victory, the winningest (if it’s good enough for CNN…) margin of victory of the right wing over the left since the days of general de Gaulle. If you scoff at this explanation, I challenge you to explain how an “ambitious, hyperactive, facist, Bushist, capitalist” could win the Presidency of France even when the saintly madam Royal did her duty, pointed out that he was immoral, indecent, would brutalize France. Even on the very last day if campaigning she warned there’d be trouble in the surburbs. And she was borne out by the riots the erupted after Sarko was announced winner.

But alas, the majority of France is immoral and indecent, and fell under the Sarko spell breaking that of the socialist hypnotists. Sarkozy! The man who proposes that people work for a living, that immigrants adapt to France! Mother France! The man is a fascist, he’s vocabulary consists in the main of the word France. France, France, France, inexorable, insistent, until the poor immoral majority could not help but take leave of their senses.

What really gave him the edge were the votes of Marie le Penn’s supporters. Supporter of the far right have no valid concerns, of course. They all are racists, and all their concerns are racist. Anyone who wins their vote is immoral. Had any of Le Penn’s people offered madam Royal their votes; she’d have said,"get behind me satan" and matched on to cue music from the white stripes.

But not all is lost, madam Royal will soldier on, protect the French from themselves. “she’ll erect in her mind a mighty staircase, with a dark pit of shame and ruin at the bottom; and down those stairs, she’ll watch him descend.” (When last did you read Dicken’s Hard Times)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Today, on the BBC, i heard a shocker, shocking enough to get me to post something today, in defiance of my mom's directive to go straight to my home so as to avoid any potential run-ins with vigilantees or the police (shit! an armoured police car just passed outside this cafe, will they be spraying tear gas soon, i wonder! I might be safer with the vigilantees, i could pretend to be one of them), the rate of inflation in Britain last year was 3.1%(ah gasp!). To put things in perspective, inflation is over 2000% in Zimbabwe(an exact figure is hard to find as the rate rises by the second) , and 1000% Peru. Oops, wrong stats - comfort, and propaganda facts for African Presidents. So the perspective once again: Inflation rates, last year, were 1%, 1.2% for Japan and Holland respectively. Britain's own target rate is 2%. You may be wondering what the repercussions of this shameful state of affairs are to the people responsible, the Bank of England big shots. Will they be fired, demoted, tear gased, tried on trumped up rape charges? Glad you asked! None of the above, actually something worse. The big boss has had to suffer the Indignity of writing a letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer (read that with a british accent - sounds pretty funny!) explaining the dismal inflation rate. If the Chancellor of the Exchequer has his job for reasons other than being the Prime Minister's "best friend", he's got to know that Oil has been about $70 a barrel over tha last year, and that since Britain is not a major producer of oil ...... So the letter is just to humiliate the poor governor - ah, the indignities of being an underling. Well, on the bright side, he can thank his lucky stars that he's not the governor of the Bank of China:L he might have been suspected of corrupt dealings, and shot. Is there a lesson in this for African leaders. Why yes, you guessed it. No silly, it's not that we should shoot people when they fail in their duty, even in the face of uncontrollable forces(greed)! It's that the humiliation of writing a letter with redundant explanations might motivate them to do their jobs better. Ha ha hah hah ha!