Tuesday, February 14, 2006

We're all alike

Is it human nature to treat all things as if they started with our own experience or discovery of them? When we fall in love, for instance, we cannot concieve that anybody has experience it as exquisitely, and excruciatingly. When we discover new information that moves us profoundly, it feels like the first dawn, doesn't it? Maybe it's just me. But no, it isn't; that's just the point of this post - we think and feel alike. Infact i think that our emotional reactions and perceptions are much the same as they were 5000 years ago. That to me is evidence of the inefficiency of spontaneous human evolution. For instance, men have suffered and survived heartbreak for millenia but every new experience of it feels like it's the first of its kind, one to which there will be no end. But i digress. I came across a really interesting feature entitled what girls think, on this site, and i was amazed at the resonance with my own thoughts. I present part six of the feature, with my commentary, for your reading pleasure.
I fantasised about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.

'Dozen times' should read 20

When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.

And mind, and ability to sleep, concentrate ....

I'll never tell you how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to 12. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear to be a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply erases the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: the actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; she was drunk; or on the rebound.

I might tell depending whether you're of substance or not.
When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.

True dat!

Just looking at your hands can turn me on.

Hell Yeah! Soni, please testify!

My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals - from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, er, holdings - and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've dated. And I've done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks knowingly at you, you're not imagining it. She knows. So understand that she knows and deal with it. (It's not going to change.) Ask her about me or discuss our relationship at your peril. She will tell me. Even - in fact, especially - if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (like if you happen to be telling her how much your love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first and yours never.

Mos def!


At February 14, 2006 2:12 PM , Anonymous grand Muffti said...

That's funny about girl's lying about the number of men they have slept with. Muffti always wonders why guys care about that kind of thing so much; Muffti used to ask the girls he would date but now he's realized, the answer is pretty irrelevant and ignorance truly is pretty blissful.

At February 15, 2006 6:19 AM , Blogger jinan said...

Why does it matter? Why does anything matter?
Ps: hope you had a lovely Valentine's day!

At February 15, 2006 12:27 PM , Anonymous Muthoni said...

I like the part of "But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first and yours never." Makes you wonder. Guys aren't that daft- if they know this then perhaps telling your friend is a way of talking to you if they have not the courage to do it directly. Who knows? But i have to ask, child did you have to spear Cupid in the back? I know life's been a tad harsh but really...........

At February 16, 2006 4:27 AM , Blogger jinan said...

I thought the picture was more tasteful than a strident "die cupid die!"
But i don't buy the lack of courage argument, to paraphrase the counting crows: it aint love if we can't talk about it. If a man is afraid to speak to a little girl like myself, what would he feel if left all alone in the dark. Mew, help me, am puss in boots! Spare me, that crap!
Ps: I know you're only playing devil's advocate but hell, let the devil speak for himself.
You're man, but what the fuck does that mean? That you're delicate, afraid of getting hurt? Good for you; you're unique, just like everybody else.
PPs: Am not mad, really!

At February 16, 2006 11:28 AM , Anonymous Muthoni said...

Hold on, hold on, don't shoot me (white flag in the air!) I come in peace!

At February 16, 2006 3:16 PM , Anonymous grand Muffti said...

Muffti can only look at the picture of cupid dead and think 'hey, man, nice shot...' :)

At February 17, 2006 9:39 AM , Blogger jinan said...

Soni: Babygal, you know i wouldn't shoot you for the world!

Muffti: I say this out of please: You need to see a therapist, i could recommend one if you like :-)

At February 21, 2006 8:03 PM , Anonymous Grand Muffti said...

massage therapist?

At February 22, 2006 8:58 AM , Blogger jinan said...

Yet more proof of a twisted mind! I love it! Massage, anybody ;-)

I said it out of love not "please". Auto-pilot's failing to keep up!


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